Choosing What Matters: A Parent’s Reflection on Media and Childhood

It’s been a while since my last blog post. As usual, I’ve been juggling the demands of parenthood alongside the realities of being a business owner.

I’m now officially the parent of a teen, which means becoming increasingly aware of external influences. Gone are the days of our sweet little bubble - just us, and the occasional episode of Daniel Tiger.

I’ve been wanting to write about this topic for some time. It’s one of my biggest passions, and one of the most common themes I see arise in my play therapy practice when supporting children and their parents.

Screen time.

I’m not here to lecture about how many minutes or hours are “appropriate.” Instead, I want to bring awareness to what your children are watching, reading, and playing on their devices and game consoles.

I often guide parents around what is developmentally appropriate. More than ever, children are being exposed to movies, shows, books, and games far beyond their developmental readiness. I see six-year-olds playing Roblox and Grand Theft Auto or watching Five Nights at Freddy’s. I see eleven-year-olds reading books that include themes of rape and extreme violence.

I get it - it’s hard to monitor, especially when other children are watching or playing the same things. It’s easy to think, “Oh, if the other kids are doing it, it must be fine.” But did you do your research? Did you look at the themes, the content, and whether it aligns with your family values?

When I raise this with parents, the response is often, “Tell that to the other parents in the class.” But here’s the point: you are allowed to say no to your child. You can be the minority parent who chooses not to allow certain games, books, or movies - or even a phone. Just because others allow something does not mean you have to.

I’m proud to say I’m one of those minority parents -  my grade 7 child still doesn’t have a phone. I know it’s an extreme example, but if every child in the class was experimenting with drugs, would you say yes then? Why is it different when it comes to content that affects the brain and emotional well-being? The impact is real.

The reason I’m so passionate about this is that adult content and themes are designed for the adult brain - or at least the developing adolescent brain. Adults have the capacity for abstract thinking. But the brain, regardless of age, cannot truly differentiate between what is real and what is not. There’s a reason age recommendations exist for movies, games, and books.

When children are exposed to high-intensity content, their brains are hit with large doses of dopamine and adrenaline. Once they get used to that level of stimulation, they often find age-appropriate content “boring” - not because it is boring, but because their nervous system has adapted to the heightened state. They begin seeking more of that dopamine rush.

So, what do we do? It is hard work. But as parents, it is our responsibility to stay curious about what our children are watching, playing, and reading.

Personally, I love Common Sense Media (https://www.commonsensemedia.org/). Whenever my daughters want to watch or read something I’m unsure about, we consult the site together and make a joint decision. I invite my teen to reflect on whether she feels comfortable with the themes and whether she understands what is being portrayed.

So, parents, please look after your child’s brain. Be curious. Do your research. Stay engaged with what they are consuming.

This parenting gig is hard — truly.

Sending love to you all. 💛

Sarah